There's a Two-Year-Old in the House

Ellie is quite the comedian these days, but not on purpose. Everything she comes up with makes us scratch our heads. Some of you who have ever had a two-year-old in the house will remember how cute this stage is. Here is a top ten list of crazies for this week:

10. We were riding in the van to go to "school", and she noticed the clouds: "Mommy, look . . . clouds in a sky! . . . That one is a parrot." How does she come up with that?

9. She knew I had to leave to go to work one day, and she started to get upset and wanted to go with me. I told her I was going to the doctor. . . she looked over at the babysitter and said "I stay with Nicole!"

8. We were in Walmart, and I had to pick up a baby seat I ordered online. We had to go back to the "Site to Store" which is the very back (where layaway used to be). When we walked back there, Ellie started screaming and saying she wanted to leave -- real tears, shaking, the whole nine yards. All I can figure is that she thought I was really sneaking her into a doctor's office -- she thought the ladies are nurses since they had on the blue vests . . . she really has a phobia! What do we do when we have to go to the dentist or get booster shots??

7. I was chopping onions to cook for our dinner, and she walked up and demanded some. I said, "Onions?" And she replied, "Yes." Well, I don't really have to describe what happened when I let her take a big bite! I guess she thought they were like apples.

6. She has a habit of digging out stuff in the computer desk, and one of her favorite treasures is paper of any type. I asked her to bring a book to me for bed time one night, and she brought me one of her favorites about all the animals going to sleep. When we started reading, every page had an index card inserted in it. We collected about 15 before we were finished.

5. She attempted to paint her fingernails and toenails, while (again) I was preocuppied with Jack and Woody. She managed to do a pretty good job; well, she got one finger and one toe finished before I discovered her! So, instead of making a big deal, I told her I would paint them for her, but she informed me that "Mommy no paint toes. Nene paint toes." Well, get to walking to Covington, Ellie. (Her aunt Janine lives down south, and I guess she thought only her Nene could do that).

4. She loves to go out to eat, but with the boys being part of the family now, we never get to do that anymore. Every time we drive through, go in to get take-out, or even drive by a restaurant, she asks in the sweetest little voice, "Ellie go WIN?" I hate having to tell her we can't. . . maybe one day, sister.

3. She likes watching football with her Daddy (well, he likes to think so). Whenever the players line up, she says "Set . . Go!" and runs across the living room. She calls EVERY sport involving a ball "baseball." Some of the time sees right. Oh well.

2. She looked up at the sunflower wallpaper border in our kitchen one morning, and with wide eyes, she began this little conversation:

Ellie: "Pumas, Mommy!"
Mama: "What, Baby?"
Ellie: "Pumas!"
Mama: "Where are the pumas, Ellie?"
Ellie: "Hiding behind the flowers!"

1. On the kitchen table, we have a basket, which is usually holding apples, oranges, or whatever fruit we have on hand. Ellie climbed on the table the other day while I was (once again) preoccupied with the twins, and took one bite out of every apple in the basket! I told her if she had asked, I'd have just given her an apple. She said, "Ohhh . . . OK."

Ellie, you crack me up.

Spiders and Such

So I found three poisonous spiders on our back patio in the last week or so. . . yikes. One was a black widow, and two were brown widows. Have you ever heard of these? They're brown (obviously) and a little smaller and more venomous than the black variety (yay). Apparently, all spiders are "poisonous," but these dudes are like the Godfathers of the other ones. You could actually die from a bite if you don't get to the hospital stat, and lots of people don't realize exactly what's happened unless they see the darn thing. My rather attractive (alright, really good-looking) bug man told us there's not a whole heckuva lot we can do about them, since you have to have a "direct kill" to get rid of them. Inside the house looks uncontaminated by pests, but I have 3 little ones, so I didn't want to do the whole spray-the-heck-out-of-everything-just-in-case scenario. Instead, we tried to knock down any webs we could see, eliminate the environments they like -- underbrush, piles of things we haven't pulled out and used in a while, small dark places -- and if we see one, kill it (sorry little Italian mob bosses).

No more scary spiders so far, but it did get me thinking about the habits of these bugs. They are reclusive, and they don't bite unless provoked. They also let everyone know they're evil with the red/orange areas on either their backs or bellies. It's like a "don't mess with me, sucka" warning sign. If only the other evil in the world were so courteous. Don't you see people who get caught up in terrible stuff? Unknowingly, they're lured in and take the bait. Then, months later, they are in a pickle. Friends of ours got sucked into a sales idea that's pretty much a pyramid deal (you know -- get your friends to sell this and you can just sit back and watch the money roll in -- right). I know, you thought I was going for drug abuse, alcoholism, or insert deep dark sin here, and I guess that's true too. But I'm thinking of the other evil out there. The way your brain starts to accept backward ideas about things and you don't realize you are becoming a different person. Maybe it's a certain person's opinion or an entire world view that seems innocent enough. One day you wake up and realize all the time you've lost being an idiot. Maybe it's just me. At least widow spiders give you a heads up, that's all I'm saying. You're know you're messin' with danger with those little boogers.

On a very unrelated but more upbeat note, my little boys are now 6 months old! Their aunt Neen called to wish them a happy 1/2 birthday yesterday, and until then I had sort of forgotten. I try so hard not waste energy worrying about them -- they're in God's hands, and they are little miracles no matter what happens. Jack has started to really get into his toys, and Woody's slowly getting to be himself again after surgery. I can't wait to start their physical therapy -- we've waited so long to get that started. I know Ellie is excited she can make them laugh and keep them happy now. She won't know what to think when they start to become more mobile. She calls them both Jack . . . half the time she's right!

6 months old . . . half a year . . . 182.621099 days . . . I just read an article about a guy who was sentenced to six months in jail for yawning. He was in court and charged with contempt (he wasn't even on trial). Wow. What would he have gotten if he had farted? Sorry.

This was also the first week of Ellie's preschool. She absolutely loves it; she tries to tell me everything she does, and I don't understand a word of it, since she talks so fast. All I can catch is that she "pways with fwends" and "take tuhns." Chris can recall going to Pre-K and telling his mom he would "go to school forever". It's so true -- if not school, then work . . . for the rest of your life. What's with the long sentence? It's not like we yawned in court.

Hospitalpalooza

Woody had a vp shunt revision last Thursday, so we were in the hospital one night. Then, after we were home for an hour, we went back due to him vomiting 3 times. After a lengthy ER experience to be readmitted (that could be a book, lemme tell you -- inmates, seizure girl, riding in the elevator with all the sickest kids in Shreveport, you name it) we settled on "residual effects of anesthesia" and headed home. He's doing ok today -- still a little spaced out, but basically happy and healthy. We really know how blesed we are, but feel free to please constantly remind us. :) (no sarcasm)

So, did you know that some grown people still color in coloring books? They do. I'm not sure if it's therapeutic or what, but I don't get it. Crossword puzzles are my choice in the hospital. You don't have to think about anything else, and tv is stupid mostly. But coloring books? I would feel like a conformist coloring neatly in the lines. How creative can you really get? Those are more like search-a-words -- so boring. No offense intended if you are like a state-champion search-a-worder.

Anyway, a girl at our local Walmart went to the hosptial thinking she had the flu, and a day later, she had a baby. No lie. I am trying to get her information so I can pass along some baby stuff. Can you imagine being at work one day, completely unaware you were pregnant, and then the next day, you have a new baby? It happened to a very close friend of our family, though. Had raw oysters on a Friday night, went to the hospital thinking food poisoning, and came home with my friend Angela. I bet it feels like a lobotomy. Like you're a completely different person from one day to the next. Our babysitter has a cousin who had her frontal lobe removed after a car accident. Her parents were excited she survived, and even more excited that she might be a nicer person now. Seriously.

Ellie is growing up - they say that can happen. She is speaking in complete sentences, mostly referring to herself in third person: "Ellie pee-pee in Ellie's shoe"; "Ellie eat the markers"; "Ellie no go nigh-night. Ellie pway." Yes, she did pee in her shoe and eat markers this week. I suck as a mom. She's so adorable that we forgive her for almost every no-no, as long as it makes us laugh. That's the general rule.

We might need to rethink that one, though.

I am, apparently, still suffering from sleep deprivation. Fold out couch-bed-chair thingies in the hospital are not cool.

Grateful

I finally accomplished something. And it's a big one. I mailed out almost 100 thank you letters to all the amazing people who have supported us through the whole ordeal of pregnancy, diagnosis, birth, surgeries, and coming home with twin boys. This feels good for a number of reasons:

1. it perfectly fits my personality -- wait until it's ridiculously late, and then do it all at once while missing out on sleep rather than do a few a day and be done with it several months ago. Why I am like this? Actually, I know the answer -- the payoff is way more awesome. Example: 20 page paper due. Is it really satisfying to turn it in when you've written a page or two for months now, and last night, you really just did last minute edits and layout revisions? Sure, but not nearly as exciting as when you have been up for 32 hours straight, have had nothing to eat or drink except coffee and hard candies, and turned it in exactly 45 seconds before the absolute and firm deadline of 8 AM. What a rush!

2. it's the first thing I've acoomplished in a long time -- other than, you know, producing two babies and caring for them pretty much nonstop for the last five months. I am not what you would call "ambitious." Not in the least. It's a flaw, and I'm aware of it. I have no desire to do big things. I like normal stuff and a normal job and a normal day more than most. But, I think anyone can relate to wanting to accomplish something they set out to do. I really don't like all the "I"s in this paragraph. ahh, another one. It is rather self-centered to think like that. But isn't blogging pretty much by definition, self-centered? hmmm. So, back to the ambition thing. Laziness is very uncool, but is it ok that small accomplishments are enough for me? I feel pretty good to have this relatively simple task behind me.

3. it hopefully lets people know that we did feel the love they sent our way, and we are way more grateful than a five-month-old letter probably expresses. I am overwhelmed at the kindness of which people are capable. It makes me take a serious look at who needs some love right now from me. Who is in a dark place and could use just a little light to be able to find the way out? Is there a little something I could sacrifice that would add up to much more for someone in need? I am inspired by generosity, and it gives me hope for my little ones that the world may not be in quite the spiral of doom a lot of people think it is. I'm a Christ follower, and that's pretty much what it's all about: faith, hope, and love. But, you know what the greatest is, right?

Not a fun weekend. . .

So, I could take a quiz on Facebook to see what kind of mom I am, but I already know. Answer: Often a little crazy. Sometimes too dramatic. Occasionally very fun.

We spent Friday and Saturday at LSU Medical Center with Woody man. It turned out basically to be nothing, but you know how the saying goes . . . better safe, right? Anyone who would read this probably knows that both twins (Jack and Woody, just turned 5 months) have Spina Bifida. Well, due to their hydrocephalus, they both also have vp shunts. On the Discussion Forum I go to often to talk about SB stuff, almost everyone has had their freak-out moments over shunt problems, and many times, that's all they are -- freak outs. I'm still not sure this was the case this time, but one thing's for sure: neurosurgeons are very important (they're sort of a big deal). Too important to come by to see us all day Saturday to let us know that Woody was fine and could go home. It was 7 o'clock before we saw them.

Woody is ok, by the way. He didn't have the classic and very scary symptoms of a shunt malfunction the books describe, but the short version is: his head circumference jumped up in two weeks, and his soft spot is quite full (not bulging, but very full). Worried mama took him to the local pediatrician, who sent us to the hospital clinic, who sent us to ct scan and then admitted us. Then, over 24 hours later, the neurosurgeons said: "He's a big boy with a big head." Okey dokey, then. It's not brain surgery, folks (bu-dum-bum-chhh).

Not a fun way to spend a weekend, but I feel like I did the right thing. I hope when these kids are all grown up, their friends will be all: "Dude, your mom is so cool." I'm sure by then this terminology will be dated (okay; it already is), but surely there will be something equivalent.

But I hope they'll also know that I would waste my life away in a horrific hospital room for no reason at all if it meant sparing them any amount of pain in the long run.

Long Time Coming

I've really intended to do the "blogging" thing for quite a while now, but, like most things I intend to do, it never happened. Like, I intended to get thank-yous in the mail right after I came home with the boys. I also intended to read the four books I've bought this summer and to start writing every day. Oh yeah, and shed 50 lbs. That, too. What is it they say about the road to hell . . . why am I acting like I don't know the answer to that question?

Today was somewhat of a milestone for me, though, so I was inspired to start this, I guess. What milestone, you ask? Well, I was home all day, just me, the boys, and Ellie . . . and I didn't completely lose my ever-loving mind. Yep. That's the huge milestone. Gives you a picture of the last 5 months, doesn't it? Every week day, except on the random days I had friends or family in to help out (thanks so much to you all!), I have looked up at the clock thinking it just had to be close to 6:15 -- daddy arrival time -- to find out it was like 4:00. Today, I looked up to check the time, and it was already 6:00! WOW -- I made it all day without any meltdowns, thoughts of fleeing to the witness protection program, checking the phonebook for a local psychiatrist . . . ok you get it.

Chris walked in, and I was on the floor playing with the cutesy baby boys, Ellie was halfway watching Dora and playing with an empty breadcrumb can, and dinner was cooked and waiting on the stovetop. Seriously. I know Chris was relieved. He asked timidly when he came in from the garage, "Um. Can I go to the bathroom, or do you need me?" I said to him the words he's longed to hear for so long: "Sure. We're good." It was like the clouds had rolled back like a scroll and a voice boomed from heaven: "All is well, my son. Thou shalt go forth and pee freely, for today the heavens hath smiled upon thee."

Indeed, there is hope that we may both, one day, free peely . .er . . pee freely again. Amen.